Yesterday, i attended the 1st/4 days marriage course. Wanna share some insights i gained.

The speaker talks abt a couple started off with
1) infatuation (burning forest), First 1-2 yrs of dating/marriage. Constantly thinking of ur partner.

then inevitably move onto either

2a) love connection (u need to maintain the fire by introducing wood over time)
Happpens when One put in effort to maintain a marriage

or

2b) mutual affection (u let the forest burn by itself w/o introducing more wood) then finally
"brother-sister" relationship. Live together, but love no longer there. Quite sad huh. His strong point that you once was attracted to becomes nuisance to you. Eg man of few words, first attracted to him cos u find him cool, but overtime, u find him boring cos he seldom talk.
Stay together for the sake of children. That explained y divorce rate increased for couples married for >20yrs. They spent all their life nurturing their children, spending time on them, that they forgotten to make effort to maintain their marriage. One final day, children grown up, left the nest, leaving the 2 of u. U faced each other, nothing to say. You hav become strangers.

3b) disintegration (fire dies off) if mutual affection continues.

Children are 99yr property, ur spouse is freehold. A lot of ppl places children's importance higher than spouse, in fact, it shd be the other way round.

It's so true. I'm guilty of placing the importance of children higher than spouse. But when do we have time to date?

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Twinkling@
5/21/2010 11:39:00 AM