I found myself alone eating at the roti prata place downstairs after an one hour plus walk with MuFFin. There were funny stares at the shop as i seemed to be the only customer eating Murtabak at this time. I made my orders and sat down. Bought newspaper to keep myself company. My serenity was disturbed by perpetual calls from him. My insane mind didn't beckon me to pick up the calls. I slowly relished my murtabak with a persistent vibration on my lap. Twenty minutes were the amount of time i took to finish my order. I'm emotionally imbalance. Many times in between my feasting i have to hold back my tears.

The house was dark with MuFFin penned up. Not a single person is at home. I know i had send him panicking looking for me. I was still quite cool about it. Why worried about me when he can ignore my existence for the whole day? It didn't make sense. I cuddled MuFFin and went to bath. While massaging my cleansing milk on my face, i realised i was mixing my tears with it. I weeped deep down for a min, worrying that it could affect the little one. But it was therapeutic. I found it pathetic to tell people that we are newly weds.

There were many plastic bags on the table and i chanced upon the dinner he bought back home. Apparently, he dropped all his stuffs and looked for me immediately when i didn't pick up his calls. Why worry? I'm not so silly to be endangering myself. I would say hormones did play a trick but not to that extent. My good friends helped him to locate me. I was already all done up, ready to go to bed. My hands didn't quite listen to me, they unpacked the food in the plastic bags and put them into the bowl. I found my 'ya boh leng' in one of the pack. It was meant to surprise me but why firefight?

I don't know how to continue this entry. I just don't want to talk. Too much talking, no action. I'm tired, blame it on hormones.

Good nite.

Labels: Rants

Twinkling@
7/29/2009 09:28:00 PM