Quoted from Wikipedia

Interpersonal relationships were defined as sexual and intimate. Contract is an agreement enforced by law. Why is there a contract in the word marriage? Wiki also quoted

"People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship". In the modern times now, which of the above has the strong need for marriage? Social stability? Maybe. Economic stablity? Not true if you married a compulsive gambler. Legal stability? Unless there's no divorce involved. Formation of family unit? Many families are much more functional without a father. Education and nurturing of offsprings? Many single mums did that very well. Legitimizing sexual relations? Tell me about it, not in this century. Public declaration of love? CRAP. Obtain citizenship? Maybe for C*i*a ppl.

How come there is nothing about proving parents who can take better care of each other. Oh, Wiki should have a section for typical Asian where parents are majorly (pls give me the strongest word i can use) involved in marriage. And on the contract, the expectations of parents for their son/daughter-in- law, should be written as well. There should be a terms and conditions added to the word marriage. Like how housework should be divided, how many hours of time should the couples spend tog. blah blah. Ya, i know pretty non-sensical. Whatever happened today was a drama, beyond sense. To an extent where i think there's no nd for marriage.

Seriously, i dun wan to be bound by the contract with high expectations of myself to be a better wife. Typically, ppl always have the mindset that wife should be understanding, supporting, caring and abiding. How come i haven't hear any citeria for the husband? What happen if the husband cannot provide for the family? When the husband is not worth the role in the family, women were blamed to be stupid coz they never open their eyes and choose properly. Women are bound to put in more efforts in the family, to take care of kids and their never-grown-up husband/ MIL's boy. They are supposed to take care of every nitty gritty of their families. Then, who's taking care of the well being of the wives? Who's taking care of the emotional needs of the wives? To MIL, it's all about their precious sons. DILs are just maids or acting mothers for the rest of their sons' life? When grandchildren are born, DILs are just outsiders. They would only have eyes for grandchildren and their sons. Now, tell me why sign a contract to be a slave and children bearing machine? Coz of love? If you are in a relationship long enough, maybe you want to ask yourself "are there still sparks?".

Sometimes, it's easier to be alone when you are so carefree! You don't have to think about what other people think or judge you. You wun feel that you are the devil beside the saint. You wun think about the times when you need to face things alone while theoretically there is an significant other in your life. How i really wish i can be as selfish as someone mentioned. If so, i could be even more carefree! Who doesn't want that? I am totally humiliated today. I felt worthless and unworthy as a wife.

I did a search on wedding vows and found these:

(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

The latter vow is what we usually hear during solemnisation. So many details missing indeed. How many times have i heard about 'changing' in a discussion? The numbers of changes mentioned made me feel like i'm really a crappy person to start off with.

Yida is a good man but i really think he deserved someone better. Someone who is more saint or as equally angelic as him. Not me, i'm the selfish imperfect devil. I'm much better off with pets alone coz i give unconditional love to them rather than humans. You have no idea how many "I rather be yr pet than bf" i have heard. Seriously, i want to be my own pet too.

Do you know when i weep to sleep? Do you know the damage you inflicit? Do you know it will be scarred forever? Trust me, things will never be the same again. My heart will always ache when i think of what happen today.