A kid at a rebellious age would sometimes pose a threat to the relationship with parents. There are two types of parents i believe- The hardcore Asian type and the 'angmo' aka soft type. I have the former, super hardcore. My childhood consisted of canes, insults and scolding. Even a simple spelling in school could lead me to any of those. I would not classified my childhood as bitter but just the typical Asian way.

I envy parents who will do the soft way. They talked nicely and tried to be their bestest friend. But sometimes kids may overlooked the fact that having such parents is a super duper bonus. We can't really blame them coz they never get another chance to meet the other type of parents. So here comes the word, 'taking for granted'. I totally understand all these.

I wished i had such parents. I am not complaining about my folks but just wanna highlight how nice it was if.....

My relationship with my mum was not optimal two years ago. She used to scream, shout and insult me. She always displace her trust in me. Don't believe i will do this or that. When she does that, i get more defensive so you can imagine the exchange of yelling. It was bad. But now, it is no longer like this. Yida changed me and that's the reason why i am marrying him. Someone changed me in a very subtle way, never forceful. He made me realised with a bigger heart, you can bring any relationship to a further height.

Of course initial change wasn't easy. With old people's mindset, they tend to condemn you to the max. Even you promised you will never do it again, they doubt you over and over again. Only time can prove. I admit that when i gave in for the first time, it sucked. It sucked because she rebuked back with awful words which were hurtful, without believing in me. But Yida just asked me to tell her how i felt when she said those words. It was really hard for stubborn me to do it. With time, it worked. I am sure she go think about what i said about being hurt. Older people have pride. They will never say sorry or admit they are wrong. At least i see her change in attitude. It was a much happier family after that. Talking about pride, i do have my own but he taught me how to lower down mine for someone who brought me up. Once again, it was never easy.

It all have to start from yourself. It is never easy. I want to be like Yida to change a stubborn replica of me. Many many situations in life, taking small step in giving in, miracles happened. You may ask "why me?" I asked myself that question too. My answer was when i give in, it will never go wrong. At least i wun be in the wrong anymore. I just want a harmonious family. It will warm the hearts of many. With time, people will start to believe the change in me.

Everyone makes mistakes. I did, many. I lived with regret coz i believe my coma was a punishment. It will never ever go away. I do not hate it anymore. If it didn't happen, i would be somebody else today. Of coz, i hope such weird rare thing will never happen to you. I promised my grandma to take care of your brother, leading him the right path. I never fulfilled that promise ( He didn't turn out too bad, ,heng! haha). He stayed too far away from me and also i was just only 3 years older than him. But to you, i see the old me. So much familarity. Trust me, you are probably feeling what i felt when i was at your age.

Dun give up trying k? I have faith in you. =)

Labels: Me

Twinkling@
9/29/2008 10:16:00 PM