Let me explain the self-protective mechanism.

It was about the period of time when i am NOT feeling anything about his arrival. Why? Coz i start to be pesstimistic about life after he comes back. When he was away, there was no reason i can get angry or pissed. But after he's back and when his usual working habit kick in, i was apprehensive over my behaviour towards it. The 2 weeks absence sure had some expectations for his attention. The reason not to be too excited over his coming back is to prevent such expectations from occuring. It may sound totally not logical but i dunno what else to feel.

To tell the truth i was only excited while waiting at the airport. Fortunately, after he got back to work, i had nothing of the sort brewing in me while he worked. I guessed i am used to his absence. I am used to him not calling me the whole day. If i ever get a call from him, it would be a favour, like asking me to go IB to help him pay bill. I've got used to not picking up the phone to call him right after work. I've got used to being alone during weekdays. Today, i causally asked him what are the things i have done for him. He quickly replied "Oh, tolerate my family." I swear that really make the though of ROMing next year scarier.

He came back on Tuesday, off on wednesday (we went for movie n he slept, probably jet lag), DO on thurdays and had army dinner today. He came to have lunch with me on wed and today. But he came late. My work schedule don't revolve around him. It was a wait. The army dinner he went for....till now he can't go, coz the big fuck still there. The initial plan was to wait for him to fetch me back to his house after dinner. I gotten more nua around 9ish and predicted that i would have another endless wait. So i told him to just walk the girl after he's done. As usual, my predictions came true........

I had planned to blade togr on early Saturday morning. Some misunderstandings happened in between and he had already promised to pei his mum in the morning. The blading was pushed to the afternoon or evening. I doubt it will happen with such rainy season ard.

I may seem to be the most unreasonable gf around. The schedule seemed like he's the one who's trying to please everyone. And he's like the most helpless one. Probably all of above are true. But what have I improved on after he started working??? I have became much better towards his working attitude and can stand by myself on weekdays (yea, i am a weekend gf only). I seriously think it was a great achievement for me.

Labels: Rants, Us

Twinkling@
8/29/2008 11:14:00 PM