I woke up this morning feeling afraid.
I looked at myself in the mirror, telling my reflection to be brave.
With no appetite, i walked out of his house.
Wary and fear for what's going to happen later.

I reached the office disorientated.
The reconnecting part on my side was really hard.
I saw my colleagues and they seemed to ignore the part that i was absent for a week.
J and ZX probably felt that i need some easy job to start with.
They helped me to get by the day.
First few hours happened in a daze.
I just did what i was asked to, hoping that there was no mistake.
Comparing to the past, this period has obviously become much easier.

By noon, i talked more.
I wasn't sure what i was talking about but just yak.
I wanted to feel their happiness- her wedding prep and the wonders of a mother's life
By mid noon, i talked more than what i expect myself to.
I spoke to more people and started to feel more normal.
I spoke to CY and ZX some of the things during relapse.
I tried to be not so afraid of answering calls.
Walking my way to the station, i spoke to Joe.
I got a seat in the train and i doze off for a few stations.
I woke up feeling not so good again.
I went to buy some comfort food and didn't get 'comfortable'.
I reached home feeling sianz once again.
Had a fast dinner and wanted to hit my face against the mattress.

Am i getting better or wat? It's getting by so slowly.

Labels: Relapse

Twinkling@
8/04/2008 07:29:00 PM