FieFie & DaDa

* Tuesday, May 27, 2008 *

I expected something like that before he started work.
But i didn't know it's so hard to get used.
Upon returning to my home, i saw my auntie with her hubby.
Her hubby fetches her to and fro from work everyday.
Except from working hours, they are always together.
They have a kid now.

I am not even married and love life becomes like this.

I sms him if he could come home on time tomorrow since i am going over earlier.
He msged me he is still in office at this hour, and have a meeting at 5pm tom.
Dun think can knock off on time.
I do sense that he felt bad over it.
But nothing can be done.

I'm sad.
I'm imbalance.
I want to scream.

So i decided to go over his place to walk and feed the girl then go home.
For sure, i will feel sad.
I really do feel very sad.
Tears are swelling up while i typed this entry.

People tell me to be independent.
I spoke to a few.
They tell me easily how and wat to do.
But i just can't get it.
Why has it always be about him?
About understanding his work,
About understanding he's working for our future?
How about me?
I am also working.
I also have emotions.

Why has it always be about him?

How about me?
What has he done to help me through the transition?

Labels: Rants

Twinkling@
5/27/2008 09:58:00 PM

2 Comments:

honestly, its because its a situation when we can't expect him to do anything about it. He can't reschedule his meeting. He probably can't put down his work, because he simply can't finish it.

Some people, can leave their work un-finished just so to leave on time.some people just doesn't believe in it.

You are blessed to having to fixed timing job without much OT, he is workaholic.

Its always about him its because, its easier for you to shape your thinking, find some stuff to do to occupy your time, instead of indulging in misery.

I understand how you feel, because I felt the same way when shawn went over to China. 3 months not seeing him, 10mins phonecall a day, talking about "have you eaten?". It drains the relationship.

By Brainy Bimbo, at 2:12 PM

But if u start to lead a life of your own, gain some independancy, for e.g. go out with friends, play some sports, go gym. Just to past time. U will be a happier person on your own, he will see a happier person when he comes home.

If he comes home, and see a grouchy you. End of the day, what would happen to the relationship? U want it to end? Why end? Because he works?

Don't be always thinking what you can do to change him, because u can't, just like i can't change shawn's boh-chapness and or april can't change eugene's procratination.

We change our style in accepting or managing it. U can continue to rant about it, but when u are done ranting, step out of your misery and be yourself again.

Your last sentence about why is he not doing anything to make you happier..What do you want him to do? Quit his job? Anger his boss? be an irresponsible person? Say sorry? Buy flowers?

What can he do? Be specific. But i guess, nothing he can do helps in your lonliness and anger. U got to change your thinking because u being happy is not his responsibility. Its yours.

By Brainy Bimbo, at 2:18 PM