Four days had past. To some people, it would be just some everyday routine. To some, would be some busy busy work schedule where he has no time to turn back and take a look. To some, it would be stressful four days coping with studies. To some, it would be that any four days.

To me, i wish i had one of the above. I wished. I was rendered non functional for the first three days. So badly that i could ignore my meals or drinks. I couldn't even sit up and take a look who's around me. All i remembered i said was 'let me sleep'. In case you haven't got me, i was in my relapse once again. The very very last thing i could recall was the very pleasant meeting with Jadey, her bf and her fur kids. After which, i was caught up by the incessant calling to sleep, leaving my work undone, my studies unfollowed, my pets un well taken care of. Luckily, i still have my mum and his mum.

TO be able to type this entry, i would be awake enough to switch on my laptop, access the worldwide net and do what i am doing. Today, i only slept once if i remember correctly. Just once which i woke up crying in my dream. Some touching moments in my dream. After which i couldn't rest my eyes. Just laid upon my bed, staring at blank. Yes, i sound like an idiot. A true idiot. But this idiotic pathway was the only route to recovery. I rather stare like an idiot than sleep like a log.

School work i believe at my back chasing feriously. I chose not to bother about it. Work, as well, i really have no choice. I had like the longest mc ever from my neurologist. I heard her saying, "She looked miserable, isn't it?" "Just let her sleep, let her sleep." She even split the long mc into two just incase i didn't recover in time.

Indeed, miserable, under the mercy of the works of the brain which even the genius haven't comprehend. I am glad i am able to have interest in blogging what i felt. Really glad. No self multilation tot ever crossed my mind. It just felt so non stressful this time. Really.

I so much wished that i could exchange half of my life away to lead the other half without relapse. I really do want to be selfish.

Twinkling@
6/21/2007 08:56:00 PM