Someone msn me. "Where's the best hospital to treat cancer?"
First thing that struck me is what cancer. It's lung. This scene immediately escaped into my mind....

It was a late evening. I was watching X-men with my Jc OG group when my mum called. "Grandma needs to be sent to hospital now! Go down to SGH now!" In my mind, i told myself it's a false alarm just like those previous time. She has been admitted to hospital for a few times due to over accumulation of mucous in lung. The drainage of accumulating mucus was alway done by my second aunt.

Saw my brother, cousin, mummy and second aunt. I couldn't really recall who else was there first. Remembered that we were waiting for the physiotherapist. Those that help the patient to remove mucous by some massage or something (Can't really remember). As usual, my brother, cousin and i sat around a corner and discuss abt the movie that i just watched. Somehow, it became a routine to go hospital that we didn't think anything would happen.

The physiotherapist came out, talk to my second aunt while we three went in. Shortly after, second aunt joined us.
Grandma said (teochew), "Can make the mucous come out?"
Aunt (teochew), "No..." Trying to suppress her morose expression.
Grandma kept quiet for awhile.
She asked again (teochew), " Really cannot come out ar?"
You all weren't there to see her face. The face of an old lady, 60 odd yrs old, wounded from incessant battles with lung cancer, couldn't believe her ears. The disappointment and sadness in her eyes...

Three years of fighting. First session of chemotherapy she managed through. Was the second session then. How many ppl can survive through chemotherapy? It's a brutal treatment.

All of us were there when she went into a stage which was total struggling. Her eyes were close with oxygen tubing in her nostrils. Her face was pale. But her hands kept trying to catch hold of something. There was an IV unit on her hand too. Can't let her injured herself. Went over and hold her hand. She was quite strong when struggling. Pushed my hands away still trying to grope. Asked my second aunt to come over, grandma probably wanted her. She paused her struggling, seem to know her fillial daughter was there beside her. Calm was the word for the next few minutes.
Struggling started again. There was a tube embedded into her lung extending to the outside for drainage. She pulled it out herself! It was like stabbing of knife into our hearts. Blood flowed.... pillow turned red. All of us were crying, tearing and weeping.

It really hurts to see someone you loved so much to go through all these shit when she dun even smoke. She was really a nice lady and dun deserved such treatment. She went through so much to bring up her 5 kids, but yet to enjoy her life then this struck her. It's so unfair. If i could, i would exchange 20 yrs of my life for her to regain her health.
Doctor gave her morphine and attached the heart beat monitoring machine. No more struggling. Each of us took turns to sit beside her while others when to rest. The three of us went to the patient lounge to sleep. Then, i heard second aunt fainted. She was brought into the room by my uncle. When she slowly regained her consciousness, mum rushed in.
"Mama can't make it le, come quick!!"
My second aunt jumped right up onto her feet and ran as fast as she could. So did we.
The heartbeat pulse was slowing down. She wasn't breathing anymore. There was some mucous on her mouth which ppl believe that it was her last breath...... She left us... without saying goodbye...

I always helped my aunt to take turns to look after my grandma whenever she can't. This particular scene.....
Aunt: "What's wrong, ma? You are afraid is it?"
Grandma kept quiet.
Aunt started to tear.
Aunt: "Dun worry... next life i will still be your daughter..."
They hugged and cry together.....
My second Aunt, is the lady who i admired most for her piety.

Ma(4)Ma(4), i really missed you. How have you been?

Twinkling@
10/12/2005 11:26:00 PM