" I have been thinking for weeks since you are back. It's not entirely your fault. It's me. U nd a time out. Will call you when i am done. Meanwhile if you found your interest pls go ahead. Sorry about this but i have been thinking all nite. Dun call me." <-- I sent this sms to him yday.
If you have been reading my blog, more or less you know what's going on. Ten missed calls appeared after that sms. Followed by a sms " Can't you pick up the phone?" then silence. I reckon he had went out with the gal yday. I couldn't take it anymore so i called him. Guess what? He's with the gal out at ORCHARD. Damn it ! Ask him go shopping with me at Orchard dun wan... ppl ask him out to orchard for lunch he can go??? What does this showed? He said he will called me back at night. No calls. I smsed him, " Let's break up." He replied," Why must things be like that?" Obviously, i told him there's no trust btw us. He said he dunno what to say. Then he called me n asked him to call him when i reached home. Nope, i didn't call him and he didn't as well. Must be sleeping soundly by then. You think he really cares? See? If i didn't sms him he wouldn't fucking care. He took me for granted i assumed. Been doing his things together, what about mine? Dun think that my " Let's break up" sms is a hoax. It's not. I have decided. He's not the one for me. How can he be speechless? Where's the " i will win your trust back!"? Haha... It's him la.
When i was with him, i felt relunctant to tell my friends that i am attached. Why? No security at all. And of course from what his actions showed. It's alright, he's just a passerby. I think i like him quite abit. Dun understand myself at times. Why would i allow myself to be so vulnerable to such ppl? GL is a nice guy yet i think he's too good for me. Haha.. no chemistry though.
Confession! When he called me, i was in E's car. E asked me out yday nite. I just want accompany and someone to talk to. He knew everything. It's obvious that he still likes me. Even so, i won't be haste in stepping another r/s. I will make sure i dun hurt him.
Right now, the more i think about those days when i am with R, the stronger the urge of leaving him. Not becoz of E. It's about myself. I'm selfish. So what the word " being serious" slipped out of his mouth? If you are serious, prove me that you are. Actions speak louder than words. He dun behave as what i wanted as a bf. No one is perfect i know that. But no trust means no hope means no future means bye bye.
Twinkling@
5/06/2005 08:36:00 AM
