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* Sunday, March 20, 2005 *

I'm the Dead fish. Today is my birthday. I spending it by sleeping away. It's better than yday. At least i woke up a few times today. Let me off, will you? I'm trying v hard.

No birthday cake. Mum n dad gave me hong bao. It's just like another day for me esp it came together with my birthday. I hear laughters around me but i can't share it. I'm a dead fish. All dead. I can't feel anything. I hate it when my phone rings. I hate it.

I hate it when my alarm rings.
I hate it when my house phone rings.
I hate it when ppl called my name.
I hate it when i know twinkle is calling me.
I hate it when it comes again and i'm at its mercy.
I hate it!!

I know i should be contented so as to be happy. But if u always feel contented, will u be able to improve yrself? Being contented for now is to prevent surging of emotions. That's all. My life has really paused AGAIN.

I have so many messages wishing me happy birthday. yet i dun feel a thing. I feel that it's a chore to reply them................. But if i'm well.. i wun feel that way.........

I'm a dead fish! Throw me back into e sea............I wanna cry but i can't.............. Prob blogging everyday helps. Life is so fake to me everyday too......... GIVE ME A BREAK!

Twinkling@
3/20/2005 03:29:00 PM

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